I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
