Don't make out with my wife yet
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
