2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
