Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
