Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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