Someone shit on the floor
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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