I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize