My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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