I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize