I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
