We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You were trust falling into bushes
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
