I think I died a long time ago.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize