I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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