i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
