And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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