I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
