I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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