Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
