Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
