why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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