Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
