No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i came on her dog
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have tasted many bathrooms
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
