I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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