I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
