Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
