her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
