Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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