Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
