Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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