where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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