I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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