i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
