??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
