at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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