They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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