girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
