i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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