Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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