Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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