yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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