You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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