Having a random hookup so left but love u
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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