I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
