If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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