And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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