I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize