Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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