if you like me you must not know who I am
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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