WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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