From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
