I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
