He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
