your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
