know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
