you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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