I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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