He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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