She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm too high and old for this...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
