i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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