At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize