I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
