i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
