Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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