i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
