I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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