who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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