i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
