Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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