He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
