also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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