I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
