Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She even gives head with a lisp.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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