I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
