obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
