I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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