In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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