3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
