it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
