we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize