Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview

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(909): View more from California

The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."

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(651): View more from Minnesota

okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

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(541): View more from Oregon

side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.

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(574): View more from Indiana

Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?

(1-574): View more from Indiana

Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.

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(863): View more from Florida

After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.

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(706): View more from Georgia

My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

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