barbara walters just said penis...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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