She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
