I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
